Navigating the Abyss: Understanding and Overcoming Helplessness
I woke up one day feeling helpless. It all started when I felt powerless by the circumstances that I was in. The feeling of bitterness overshadowed my judgment. It made me angry, and furious, and had an overpowering feeling of thirst to destroy anything and everything that would make me feel less than what I deserve. This experience made me think; what was it all for? How did I end up being here? Clueless & helpless. This helplessness lingered for quite some time. I wake up every morning feeling the same. The more I believed it, the more I traveled towards the depth of my sorrow.
All our lives, we were taught to work hard, and put the effort in, and we’ll see 2X the outcome soon. There is no other way around this. To some extent, it is true, until unforeseen circumstances get the best of you. In these instances, what you truly need is a manual that can help you overcome these obstacles. It is unfortunate though, that life doesn’t come with a manual. But there are ways, methods, or tricks if you want to call it; that can help ease the sense of loss of control; or helplessness. These are some of the ways that helped me personally manage those difficult moments in a much more sensible way.
The first thing I did is, which is the most critical part; process it. Without processing that you’re going through this, it can be a sign of denial. It is also natural that we feel denial, and that's okay. But when you’re ready, you will be able to process that you’re experiencing these emotions, and you’re going through these disappointments. Once we process and accept that these things are happening to us, we’re more likely to be a bit more compassionate with ourselves. Accepting will only come after your process and truly understand what is happening to you. Ignoring it won't do anyone any good, it will make your life much more complicated.
Once you have understood that you’re in this unfortunate phase, try to shift your mindset into looking for the things that you can control, and as a bonus bring you joy. That could be, walking as the sun sets, having picnics by the beach, or building your new business. Whatever that may be for you, once you realize that you do have control over certain things in your life you will automatically gravitate towards these things, and soon afterwards your perspective will gradually shift. Those things will enrich your life and remind you that you and only you can make your life a rewarding journey.
At times we think we have no control over our happiness. On the contrary, you can find pockets of happiness everywhere you look. Happiness that is based on conditions, can sometimes break. But when you find happiness in doing the things you love, and with the people you genuinely enjoy their presence with no restrictions or conditions, you can naturally be happy.
Oftentimes, in a sticky situation, the best solutions are just a blink away from you. We often feel limited, when we’re helpless. We find ourselves stuck, and whatever solution presents itself is not “good enough”. There is danger in this way of thinking, and therefore keeping an open mind, testing, and trying things out won't really harm. Instead, it might be the fix that you never knew you needed. Those solutions can be a blink away.
Throughout your life, you will go through endless ups and downs. You will find yourself in repeated patterns of behavior, and the feeling of helplessness will lurk whenever you feel you’ve lost control over the situation. However, it is up to you to decide if you want it to lurk in for a long time, and let it break you, or focus on the things that truly matter. Remember, this decision is within your control.